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Top Albums of 2013

Posted by blcksb on December 17, 2013 at 2:45 AM

Well its that time of the year again....what time is it?


ANYWAY! Its December of 2013 and that MEANS....BEST OF FUCKING LISTS!!!!!!!!!!1111ONE


For this one I will write about the Top Albums of 2013 I Have Listened To, there is some variety...or not as I hate most anything not rock or metal but anyway LETS DIVE RIGHT THE FUCK IN!


1. The Next Day – David Bowie

Holy man titties is this quite possibly the best record of the year, David Bowie made a new record after a 10 year gap. To be honest I had quite given up on ever hearing new Bowie material but I was gladly surprised when on his 66th birthday he announced his new album will be out in March, of course being a weird young man who obsesses over certain bands and artists I was mouth frothing. How is the music? Its David Bowie who has mellowed out yet still has a major rocking sense about him, the whole album is killer from start to end with no filler and you know your album is off to a good start when the opening track kicks you in the balls and fucks your girlfriend and you recover and you say to yourself “I'm ok with this”.


2. The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here – Alice in Chains

Alice in Chains have, even when I was a kid in the 90's, been one of those bands that have always possessed a solid sound and tone. When Layne Staley passed away due to a drug over dose many thought the band was done but back in 2009 Jerry Cantrell and friends united with vocalist William Duvall and recorded Black Gives Way to Blue which is a master of comeback records anyone could do. Skip ahead almost 4 years and the band have given us another solid entry of downer rock and metal (Jerry Cantrell has said AIC were a metal band) and what are we given? 12 tracks of fucking killer material.


3. Kingdom of Conspiracy – Immolation

Its no surprise I find a vast majority of modern death metal either attempting to sound like the original big bands, or are “-core” band which should die in a fire (a fire made of acid and Bieber records!). Immolation are one of the original giants of the New York death scene of the late 80's and are usually resigned to secondary place against the other big guys Suffocation, but always stood out more as they were not afraid to write about social issues in the world (much like Chuck Schuldiner did with Death). Cut to 2013 and Immolation release a new album, this one though does not feature the bands standard anti-religious lyrics but instead creating an album about tyranny and corruption with a story based on George Orwell's 1984 and possessing a far more cynical and pessimistic theme about what can happen if people choose not to wake up and let whats happening continue until we are at the mercy of the few in charge.


4. Strawberries and Cream – Ninja Sex Party


Ok, ill get flak for this as NSP are a joke band...BUT these two guys (Dan Avidan aka Danny Sexbang, and Brian Wecht aka Ninja Brian) are actually a great combo and write some killer, albeit silly, tunes. Danny is the singer and is Jewish (a fact he proudly espouses) while Ninja Brian is a psychopathic murderous ninja (with 15,000 murders to his name) who makes all the actual music. From songs about their legendary best friendship, to songs about failed parties, masturbating to loved ones, and wanting to F your A there are man clever hooks, great vocal melodies and the Ultimate Sandwich.


5. Preachers Of the Night – Powerwolf


Powerwolf are a German power metal band based out of KEINHOLDERSKOMPF! (Actually Saarbrucken) and...they write about werewolves, vampires, dark fantasy, and blood and zombies and sex and religion and evil and kick major ass. Most will see their lyrical themes and tell me that’s not very Power Metal...well blow me. This is a really killer record with the hard hitting opener “Amen & Attack” we are given the bands blend of religious metaphor with a horror movie approach over a grand operatic musical style...oh and vocalist Attila Dorn is a former singer in the German opera so YES! After “Amen” we are given a full bevy of killer songs until we hit the slump, yes this record loses its steam quickly after the track “Cardinal Sin” (lol I saw what they did there). The album is 11 songs long and really 8 of those are truly killer tracks, in the slump the two tracks that stand out are “Nochnoi Dozor” and “Exatum Et Oratum” The band has a fondness for Latin verses and choirs and from what I was told its all correctly said. So minus the 3 bad songs this is a killer record that should have been kept at 8 tracks BUT HEY THATS WHAT THE SKIP BUTTON IS FOR!


6. Infestissumam – Ghost B.C.


Ahh yes, here are these Satanic bastards now. I've spoken about these guys throughout the year and I cant really say much more on them, I will say that these guys have really managed to create one really catchy fucking record and considering the lyrical themes that’s saying a lot, if you want a more in depth look at the record here is a link to the album review on my own webpage http://the1cedguardian.webs.com/apps/blog/show/31521438-ghost-b-c-infesstisumam


7. Swallowed By the Ocean's Tide – Sulphur Aeon


OK these guys no one has really heard about to my immediate knowledge as they are only a couple years old but they are a death metal band based out of Germany (I like Germans) and they write about and are influenced by H.P. Lovecrafts works and that’s cool in my book (I don’t have one). What sets this band apart from other death metal bands with a Lovecraft influence? The music, the band has a very heavy guitar tone that’s really crunchy but their riffs possess a melody I've not really heard played before but they have a very aquatic tone that’s incredibly suffocating but also a joy to hear. The vocals are delivered very well with a mixture of standard death growls and some black metal esque screams but nothing over the top like Anaal Nathrakh, the drums are buried a bit but definitely are being handled by one competent guy.


8. Mysterium – Manilla Road


AHH YEA! Manilla Road are one of my favorite fucking bands, they have been going strong since 1977 and even though Mark Shelton is pushing close to 60 he still can fucking lay down some killer songs. Now if you are familiar with the band you know they have had an incredibly inconsistent production sound with nothing ever sounding a like. At it's worse listen to Atlantis Rising (which is just a noise of feedback disguised as production) to their best which is this album. Mark has always written about dark history, fantasy, Norse mythology, and stories and even a whole album based on Edgar Allan Poe's works (Mystification which is their best album in my opinion). How does Mysterium stack up to 36 years of material? Very well actually, the album from start to finish is a solid slab of American Epic Metal from its master. The album slumps towards the end with two songs and they are “Do What Thou Will” and “The Calling”, we are also given an incredibly rare treat an all acoustic song sung by Mark Shelton called The Fountain which has a very country sound and introspective lyrics, and is without a doubt the best song on the album.


9. Halo of Blood – Children of Bodom


Now I know what your thinking “CoB released a good album post 2005?! SORCERY!” Yes they have, after a slump of 8 years they are back with album that actually sounds like fucking effort was put into it. What are we given? A band harkening back to its glory days all the while retaining a more matured aspect about itself. All the songs from start to finish kick major ass with “Scream For Silence” standing out the most.


And at last number 10!


10. Surgical Steel – Carcass


The fathers of goregrind return with their first album of new material in...a lot of years (Hey I'm not a genius) and how does it sound? Like they never went away, while the melodic death metal sound is still present there are a lot more throwbacks to stuff like Corporal Jigsore Quandry than No Love Lost. The beasts are back and ready to hold you down with a “Captive Bolt Pistol”

Categories: Reviews, Music

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